Traumatic Birth

Yesterday I spent some time with a previous student from one of my Douglas prenatal classes. Everyone in that class had had their babies, so I was trying to organize a reunion date for them. One mom had emailed me back something to the tune of " I'm looking forward to the reunion, but I haven't told anyone about my birth yet - it was too traumatic."

Yikes! Warning bells go off when I hear that. A reunion class is NOT the first place to share your traumatic birth story. So I emailed her back and offered to hear her story first.

So off I went to Guildford area, and met their very beautiful baby girl K. The couple - I shall just call them K and W, have some Asian in them, and their little girl - who is almost 2 months old now has this headful of beautifully soft black hair - and the biggest dark eyes ever. Okay - so I digress.

Anyways - so I listened to her story and just felt heartbroken for her and what she endured. But part of me was upset beause alot of what happened to her I warned the class about. And it was frustrating because many first time parents assume that they don't need a doula, or a midwife, and that their OB will do everything in their best interests.

This lady went into labour on her own at 39 weeks. She had a night of pre-labour, went to the hospital and was told that she was only 2 cms and was sent home. A little while later the next morning (early morning, think middle of the night) her water broke, so she went back. Her contractions were getting stronger, and she was happy to learn that she was 4 cms, so they admitted her. According to her, she was doing well, but her doctor had come in and told her a) she wouldn't be here to deliver her baby because she had an Olympic event to attend (date was Feb 16), and b) that she thought that they should break her bag of waters to speed things up. *ARGGGHH*

So the doctor gave the order to do AROM, and left! So K (mom) was not happy to begin with. THEN, the no less than 3 people tried to break her waters - a student nurse, then a resident and then finally the nurse. Not good...... can you say INFECTION? (remember this for the later part of the story).

So after the AROM, her contractions pick up --- which is usually what happens. However, obviously the baby wasn't in the best position because dilation didn't happen quicker. In K's words " it was just crazy and I couldn't handle it." Yup, you guessed it - she got an epidural. She was apparently around 5 cms at that time. The way K recalled it, she was 5 cms mid morning, and finally reached 10 cms late in the afternoon.

However, when she finally got to 10 cms - a couple things happened - and K and W said it was pretty scary in their view. First, they determined that K had a fever. The baby's heartrate was too high, and they figured that it was because of K's fever. Whenever a fever is involved, with the bag of waters having been ruptured for longer than 12 hours, they think infection and if a baby has picked up an infection, that baby is going to need to be monitored.

Because of all of this they didn't have her push long before the on-call OB decided to do a high forceps delivery ---- they were "worried" about the baby - because of the high heart rate. The forceps failed, so the last option is cesarean. They were told it was an emergency cesarean. But it took 30 minutes before they had the cesarean. K recalls that she was so upset and so scared she could hardly sign the form! And no one explained to them options or what was going on. Why did forceps fail? Why couldn't she push the baby out? Epidural. Why did she have the epidural? Because the contractions were too much to take because they broke her bag of waters UNNECESSARILY. Who's fault? The doctors.

The cesarean was performed, and K said "I saw my baby for 5 seconds and they took her to the NICU -and W had to go with". (the NICU is the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at RCH). She then said "I have never felt so awful ... I wasn't joyful, and I didn't cry tears of joy. Instead, I felt alone, vulnerable and invaded."

The baby had to go to the NICU for 24 hours because of the fever mom had. Why did K have a fever? Likely because the bag of waters were ruptured --- too early and too many vaginal checks. Oh - and the forceps likely didn't help either.

So, to make matters worse, - to add insult to injury, the OB who did the cesarean came to see her in the recovery and said " oh, and next time you have a baby, we'll just do a scheduled cesarean. Your pelvis is too small and you wouldn't be able to deliver a baby older than 32 weeks."

At that point, K broke down in sobs. THIS was the biggest reason she labeled her birth "traumatic". In between heartbreaking sobs, gulping, tears pouring down her face she looked at me and said "how can this be true? how can I not do the one thing God created me for? how come I couldn't push my own baby out of my body? how can I have another baby?".

This was so unfair. I listened and I let her know that yes, indeed, she did have a horrible birth and that what the doctor said to her was very hurtful.
But I also told her that first of all, since she was pushing, and since they attempted forceps, her baby would fit. And baby K was only 6 lb 14 oz!! NOT big at all!
I encouraged her to seek a midwife next time ..... I encouraged her to not listen to the "repeat cesarean" crap. This woman went into labour on her own, and got to 10 cms and pushed her baby far enough for them to try forceps ...... how could she not possibly be given the option of a trial of labour next time to have a VBAC? That doctor has not looked at the evidence ...he made a judgment call based on medical convenience, not what is in the best interests of this woman.

I asked her if the doctor mentioned to her that because of the cesarean she should make sure to have 2 years between babies? No, not mentioned at all. Did the doctor mention to her the dangers of repeat cesareans which include placenta accreta, placenta abruption, miscarriage and stillbirth, infertility? Nope. Just "have a repeat cesarean".

When I left, K was feeling a bit better ....but I fear that she will take the trauma and the fear of this birth into her next one - should she decide to have another baby. I hope she takes the suggestion of finding a midwife who can help her through these fears and end up with a normal vaginal birth next time.

I wonder though .....how would things have been different for her if they had really heard the "Lamaze" message in class - sought out a midwife and hired a doula .... would things have been different? I dare say --- I believe so.